Control your anger before it controls you

UNMASK YOUR ANGER – KNOW YOUR ANGER –CHANGE YOUR ANGER TO A FEELING YOU CAN MANAGE

Anger - you are reacting to things not going your way

Uncover your anger, it is a “cover” emotion, that masks some other emotion beneath.

Anger is the negative emotion that has been shown to have the biggest impact on our health and well-being.

"Anxiety" usually is a common driver of anger

Anxiety - always on guard, always externally focused on others, always on edge waiting to see what is going to happen next.

Anger turned inward is "Depression"

Depression - Here we see the agitated depression of some adults, usually men, and young children, who seem irritable and easily angered but inside are as depressed as the person who refuses to get out of bed – the why bother, the hopelessness, the self criticism.

Those for whom Anger is essentially their only "Emotion"

Only emotion - when they get sad the get angry, when stressed get angry, when horny get angry – it doesn’t matter, every emotion gets translated into varying forms of anger. They lack an emotional range.

Keeping Anger at Bay

6 Important things to know about Anger

1. Anger is Something Created By Yourself

•We tend to think that anger is caused by something outside ourselves, such as other people or frustrating events.

•It’s important to understand that anger is something created by yourself. It didn’t come swooping out of the ether to infect you.

•“No one makes you angry. You make yourself angry.”

2. Anger is Self-Defensive

•Anger challenges us to look deeply into ourselves. Most of the time, anger is self-defensive. It arises from unresolved fears or when our ego-buttons are pushed.

3. Anger is not “Real”

•Ego, fear and anger are insubstantial and ephemeral, not “real.”

•There is no physical presence. They’re ghosts, in a sense.

•Allowing anger to control our actions amounts to being bossed around by ghosts.

4. Anger is Self-Indulgent

•Anger is unpleasant but seductive.

• There’s something delicious about finding fault with something.

•When our egos are involved (which is nearly always the case), we protect our anger. We justify it and even feed it.

5. Expressing your Anger is only Feeding the Seed of Anger

•When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that’s not true.

•Anger expressed either verbally or with physical violence only makes you feed the anger, and it becomes stronger in you making you an “unreal” & temporarily powerful EGO.

•“Only understanding and compassion can neutralize anger.”

6. Allowing Anger to Control you is the real Weakness

•Sometimes we confuse aggression with strength and non-action with weakness.

•Giving in to the impulse of anger, allowing anger to hook us & jerk us around, is the weakness. (making us a puppet).

•It takes strength to acknowledge the fear and selfishness in which our anger usually is rooted.

•It also takes discipline to meditate in the flames of anger and that is not a weakness.

Do you need Counselling for Anger?

If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, you might consider counseling to learn how to handle it better. With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the techniques used.